I bet you won’t find that phrase in its entirety on Google. Google is a useful tool to have a better sense of who has thought what in the world, as sort of a confirmation of originality. Yes, though, I think Bombay Sapphire smells like Bacon Bits.

Bacon bits are not often fondly thought of, but they were a major minor player in my meals growing up. As an avid buy-luncher, I owned the elementary school salad bar and threw anything and everything on my Styrofoam tray (much like I do now at Souplantation). About this time too, Costco set up shop in my hometown with their impossibly large portions of everything, including that endless bottle of artificial bacon once probably sampled then picked up. My mom likes serving up veggies and healthy junk, but a little crunch and salt were never a bad thing. Maybe through bacon bits, I learned not to use the spoon pour side of a bottle’s lid, no matter how gentle you think you are.

Fast forward some ten years and I have not thought about, nor eaten bacon bits probably since my velcro shoe days. My diet consists mainly of Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice, and Smart Ones meals, restaurants in the city, and sandwiches. As much as I hope my mother doesn’t know, what I don’t spend on food, I probably spend on wine, beer, and spirits. I am by no means AT ALL an expert, but I can tell the difference between bad and good (or, likey and no likey). When friends say they don’t drink beer or they hate Gin or they don’t like red wine, I am usually quite confused. The disparity between countries/brands/years is huge (obvs., Grey Goose v. Prestige), and I believe there’s always somebody out there who can make something tasty.

Unlike the aforementioned friends, I like Gin. I am a faithful patron of Seagram’s, for quality, taste, and price. While shopping at Ralph’s with my friend Greg, though, he began to rave about Bombay Sapphire (to emphasize his point, it was sold out). I know B. Sapph for being extraordinarily attractive in color, packaging, and description. The bottle explaining its contents boasts ten flavors: almond, lemon peel, liquorice, juniper berries, orris root, angelica, coriander, cassia, cubeb, and grains of paradise. It sits fairly high on the gin hierarchy.

So, you can imagine my shock at actually trying the Bomb. In its purest form (shot glass), I could not believe my olfactory reaction. Google “Bombay Sapphire Smells Like Pine Tree” and you’ll get exactly what you’re looking for. I smelled the pine tree, yes. But at closer range, with deep inhalation through the nostrils, my mind shot back to being a 70 pound runt eating rectangular pizza, mini corndogs, and sloppy joes. How could this sophisticated liquor smell like a memory from suburban public school? I can only say that my mind is full mostly of my own experiences, and bacon bits are a ton closer to me than coriander or cubeb.

Ok.  Time to rant about another trivial thing.  I feel like this stuff should be going in a journal or something..but since no one actually reads this (queue for a pitty comment from anyone that might actually be reading this now), I’ll continue.

Last time I mentioned how I wished people would start blowing more bubble gum bubbles.  And I stand by that.  I’m not here to talk about that.  No.  This is about something far more important than a piece of gum.   This is about coffee, the magical plant that, when it’s seeds are dried, ground, and passed through warm water, make one hell of a beverage.  I don’t even get affected by the caffeine (though I wish I did).  It’s just a drink that I think tastes good (black…none of that cream and sugar nonsense).

Being summertime and like 3 million degrees in Southern California (woooo!…ugh), I usually make the switch to iced coffee in the mornings.  Iced. Coffee.  I’m drinking one right now actually.  Well..I ordered one.  What I’m drinking is an iced americano, which is espresso and water with ice.

Now some people might be saying “Hey!  That’s pretty much coffee on ice.  What’s the problem?”  The problem is, the two drinks taste completely different.  An iced coffee is exactly what it sounds like.  You brew coffee and you serve it on ice.  An americano = what I said above, espresso shots and ice.  Iced coffees are more tangy.  Iced americanos are more smokey. I’m not saying that either one is good or bad.  It’s just sometimes you really want that coffee and you don’t want the intense espresso.  Right?  Am I crazy?  No.

This may be extremely trivial to everyone else, but I drink too much coffee to let this slide.  So I say this to you coffee people out there.  Take a stand!  When you ask for an iced coffee, make sure that’s what you get!

*About halfway through writing this I realized it was kinda stupid, but I felt like finishing it.  If you have anything to add to this, comment and I’ll try arguing with you..it’s fun.  Also, if you have any suggestions on something cooler to talk about, let me know.  Pleaassseee.

Though I don’t think I can remember ever going to a Showbiz Pizza Place (I may have been too young), I still do think this documentary looks pretty interesting.

Info about the place: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Showbiz_Pizza_Place

Alright..so I’m going to attempt to get back into this.  Will it work?  Who knows.  But I’m definitely gonna try and make it happen.

So.  To start, I’d like to rant a little about gum, specifically blowing bubbles with one’s gum.  Now I chew a lot of gum, and usually it isn’t ‘bubble’ gum.  Most of the time it’s some random trident or orbit flavor.  Does that, however, stop me from blowing bubbles? No.  But I have been noticing less bubbles being blown around me.

What happened?  It’s like soccer here in the states.  Every kid does it, and then for some reason, it just disappears when we get older as if it never happened.  Do you people remember how hard it was to learn how to do that?  Ok..maybe it was really easy for you, I don’t really care.  The point is, what happened to this dying…tradition I guess?  Blowing bubbles with your gum is fun.  It’s cool.  It’s something to do with the gum in your mouth (cause come on…just chewing over and over gets a little boring).

Are people embarassed?  Do they think it’s too loud?  Are they afraid that once it pops, gum is going to stick to their face?  I don’t understand how something so enjoyable as a kid can just..stop.  I’m not saying no one does it, cause I’m sure there are a lot that do, but I’ve just noticed a decline in the bubble blowers out there and I feel it needs to be addressed.

So next time you’re chewin a piece of of watermelon twist trident, or whatever flavor/type you prefer, go ahead and blow a bubble or two.  You may be surprised as to how much you enjoy it.  That and you’ll be making me feel less self conscious every time I’m out in public doing it.  So thanks!

If you need help learning how: http://www.wikihow.com/Blow-a-Bubble-With-Bubblegum