Something..amazing I want to talk about. I was making my normal rounds on the internet, eventually getting sucked into the black hole known as Wikipedia, when I came across the awesomeness that is Gospel Magic. Now, I’m not a religious person, so this may be a common thing that everyone knows about, but I did go to a Catholic high school and never heard a thing about it. Basically, what this is, is stage magic performed to help teach the word of God (Word of God?…is word capitalized? hmm). So you have magicians. Performing tricks. Tricks that are meant to explain various ideals to the Christian community (Jewish people do not fret. You have your own kind of magic. That’s right. Torah Magic).
Okay. Let’s discuss. First of all. Is this not a crazy discovery? I mean, imagine a guy in a tuxedo pulling a rabbit out of a hat and somehow tying it in to the story of The Good Samaritan. Hell. I would’ve totally been down for that when I was young. All I remember from church as a kid were these creepy looking old guys in robes chanting things and frightening images of Jesus all over the place. Not something I really wanted to go back to. Now. Take the church, replace the way too many crucifixes with smoke machines and cool party lighting, switch the random assistants or whatever (they might also be priests?) with attractive women willing to be cut in half while smiling, and change the priest’s wardrobe to some random 80s style bright colored that all magicians love to wear. Who the hell wouldn’t watch a show like that?? Kids would be begging their parents to go. If church was like that, I might still be going.
Just think. Levitating priests? Making the Virgin Mary disappear?? The possibilities are endless! How entertaining would weddings and funerals be? All that random stuff spoken during the ceremonies that no one listens to replaced by some old Irish guy turning napkins into doves! Right?!
Now there are some probably saying…”Heyyyy. Magic is all dark arts and evil things. Religious authorities won’t support that.” Well apparently there’s some sort of a loophole here. It’s not cool to deceive people, but its totally fine to ‘trick’ people if you reach a pconclusion that teaches a good, wholesome religious value.
On top of how fun going to church would be, there’s a whole community behind Gospel Magic that people can tap into. There are famous Gospel magicians (trading cards maaybbee??), Gospel Magic holidays, even a Gospel Magician’s Oath!
…Alright. I realize this kind of ridiculous, but it’s a real thing and I think more people should know about it. What’s that you say? “Where can I find out more?” I’ll tell you! You should check out the USA Fellowship of Christian Magicians website. Yup. There is an actual Fellowship of Christian Magicians. Enjoy!
At the end of the day, I’ll I’m trying to say is. Who wouldn’t want to get baptized by this guy?
