Something..amazing I want to talk about.  I was making my normal rounds on the internet, eventually getting sucked into the black hole known as Wikipedia, when I came across the awesomeness that is Gospel Magic.  Now, I’m not a religious person, so this may be a common thing that everyone knows about, but I did go to a Catholic high school and never heard a thing about it.  Basically, what this is, is stage magic performed to help teach the word of God (Word of God?…is word capitalized? hmm).  So you have magicians. Performing tricks. Tricks that are meant to explain various ideals to the Christian community (Jewish people do not fret.  You have your own kind of magic.  That’s right.  Torah Magic).

Okay.  Let’s discuss.  First of all.  Is this not a crazy discovery?  I mean, imagine a guy in a tuxedo pulling a rabbit out of a hat and somehow tying it in to the story of The Good Samaritan.  Hell.  I would’ve totally been down for that when I was young.  All I remember from church as a kid were these creepy looking old guys in robes chanting things and frightening images of Jesus all over the place.  Not something I really wanted to go back to.  Now.  Take the church, replace the way too many crucifixes with smoke machines and cool party lighting, switch the random assistants or whatever (they might also be priests?) with attractive women willing to be cut in half while smiling, and change the priest’s wardrobe to some random 80s style bright colored that all magicians love to wear.  Who the hell wouldn’t watch a show like that??  Kids would be begging their parents to go.  If church was like that, I might still be going.

Just think.  Levitating priests? Making the Virgin Mary disappear??  The possibilities are endless!  How entertaining would weddings and funerals be?  All that random stuff spoken during the ceremonies that no one listens to replaced by some old Irish guy turning napkins into doves!  Right?!

Now there are some probably saying…”Heyyyy. Magic is all dark arts and evil things.  Religious authorities won’t support that.”  Well apparently there’s some sort of a loophole here.  It’s not cool to deceive people, but its totally fine to ‘trick’ people if you reach a pconclusion that teaches a good, wholesome religious value.

On top of how fun going to church would be, there’s a whole community behind Gospel Magic that people can tap into.  There are famous Gospel magicians (trading cards maaybbee??), Gospel Magic holidays, even a Gospel Magician’s Oath!

…Alright.  I realize this kind of ridiculous, but it’s a real thing and I think more people should know about it.  What’s that you say?  “Where can I find out more?”  I’ll tell you!  You should check out the USA Fellowship of Christian Magicians website.  Yup.  There is an actual Fellowship of Christian Magicians. Enjoy!

At the end of the day, I’ll I’m trying to say is. Who wouldn’t want to get baptized by this guy?

Alright..so I’m going to attempt to get back into this.  Will it work?  Who knows.  But I’m definitely gonna try and make it happen.

So.  To start, I’d like to rant a little about gum, specifically blowing bubbles with one’s gum.  Now I chew a lot of gum, and usually it isn’t ‘bubble’ gum.  Most of the time it’s some random trident or orbit flavor.  Does that, however, stop me from blowing bubbles? No.  But I have been noticing less bubbles being blown around me.

What happened?  It’s like soccer here in the states.  Every kid does it, and then for some reason, it just disappears when we get older as if it never happened.  Do you people remember how hard it was to learn how to do that?  Ok..maybe it was really easy for you, I don’t really care.  The point is, what happened to this dying…tradition I guess?  Blowing bubbles with your gum is fun.  It’s cool.  It’s something to do with the gum in your mouth (cause come on…just chewing over and over gets a little boring).

Are people embarassed?  Do they think it’s too loud?  Are they afraid that once it pops, gum is going to stick to their face?  I don’t understand how something so enjoyable as a kid can just..stop.  I’m not saying no one does it, cause I’m sure there are a lot that do, but I’ve just noticed a decline in the bubble blowers out there and I feel it needs to be addressed.

So next time you’re chewin a piece of of watermelon twist trident, or whatever flavor/type you prefer, go ahead and blow a bubble or two.  You may be surprised as to how much you enjoy it.  That and you’ll be making me feel less self conscious every time I’m out in public doing it.  So thanks!

If you need help learning how: http://www.wikihow.com/Blow-a-Bubble-With-Bubblegum

So your favorite book is the Bible, but you loovvvee lolcats!  What are you gonna do?!?!

Why not help with the lolcat Bible Translaion Project?  This site is basically doing what the title says.  People are translating the entire Bible into lolspeak.  61% of the thing is already translated, so if you want to help, you better click on that link now.

When I was little, I would always worry about going to bed.  I would lie there, wondering what would happen if someone broke into the house right then.  They were scary thoughts.  In my mind, I thought it would be cool if my mattress/bed had this button you could push in case of emergencies that would cause me to sink down into the bed.  This way, if I heard some suspicious noise, I could push the button and sink in, so when the robber came into the room, there would be no one there!  Think about it.  Not only would it potentially save your life, but it would also be a cool secret hideout.  You could decorate the area, get some lights, maybe keep your Gameboy in there in case you wanted to hang out/get bored.  It would be sooooo fun

Someone apparently shared my vision, but unlike me, has decided to act on it..kind of.  The Quantum Sleeper is basically a bed that transforms into shelter.  It takes my vision a step further by claiming protection not only from people, but from nature as well.  It can also be fitted to view DVDS, play CDs, and even can have an installed microwave and fridge.  This thing may not be exactly what I was imagining when I was a kid (I’m pretty sure all I wanted back then was a little fort made out of pillows or something..I was a simple kid with simple desires), but it comes close.  So if you’re constantly worried about being vulnerable to terrorist attacks and tornados while you’re sleeping, check this thing out.  If you have a lot of money, you could even invest in it to help build a prototype.

Link (via Neatorama)